Me and rogue026 were talking a little about weddings today and it got me thinking, what the hell am I going to do when it's mine? I wouldn't want my father to walk me down the aisle and I wouldn't want him and my mum sitting on the top table together as they would have a massive row or scowl in the pictures. It's going to be a mess.

If I don't have my dad walk me down the aisle then my grandparents will be put in an awkward position as he lives with them and even though I would invite him to the wedding, I don't think I would want him to play a big part. I would want my grancha to walk me down the aisle as I think of him as my dad, but I don't know if he would because my dad would know about it and I don't want to cause a huge falling out.

Then there's mum and dad's relationship. I would invite mum and mum's new partner as I really get on well with him and I wouldn't want mum to come on her own anyway. But he didn't want to come to a meal not long ago as my nan would be there and he thought it would be awkward for everyone. Well, my whole family would (hopefully) be at a wedding, so would he come then? My mum and dad can't even be civil to each other, so I couldn't sit them together on the top table and I don't particularly want to sit there on my wedding day and mediate or worry.

So, I would invite my dad, but not want him to walk me down the aisle or make speeches, as he doesn't even know me anyway. I would want my grancha to do all this, but I don't know if he will as dad lives with them and it would cause a major row. And I can't sit my dad and mum together so I can't have either of my parents on the top table, which means I get to sit next to AIR! God!!!!

I've never before sat down and thought of this sort of thing. What about if I have children and we take them down to Wales for their birthday/Christmas - mum and dad won't sit in the same room and mum's partner Barry wouldn't go to nan's house.

It's always going to be this big divide and I can't get what I want because it will put too many people out or cause rows. And I know I could say, look, just get on for one day, but then I would know everyone was unhappy and that would upset me. Stupid families!

Otherwise, things are pretty much fine. Money isn't great as it's been an expensive month, but as I keep saying, it's double bonus month next month, so fingers crossed it will be a good one. And however rubbish things get, at least I know I have a holiday at the end of September. yay!